My Baptism and My Goodbye


Hi Everyone,

I hope you all had a very blessed week. Initially, I wanted to write about the whole day/ process of my baptism, but after praying about it...I decided not to. Not because I don't want to share. I would love to talk about it with each and everyone of you, but words don't do justice to this beautiful day.

So, I will tell you as much as I see fit. Common questions I've been asked:

Did I feel a sense of the divine when I was submerged in the water? 
Yes, it was an amazing moment of transcendence. My heart felt at ease for a moment...as if all things made sense.

How did it feel like to take communion?
It was cool and strange all at once because I've been attending St. Paul's for over 5 months and was never able to participate. Its definitely something I have to mediate on...so I can truly take to heart what the eucharist truly means.

Did I like all eyes being on me?
No! LOL. I'm very much and introvert so it was bit unsettling at times even though I was truly happy for this day.

Was it all that I expected?
Yes and no? Yes, because I truly felt the love and God's presence. No, because the one person I really wanted to be there showed his true colors. And it broke my heart to say the least.
(You can see my rest $#@itch face in the picture in the upper left. LOL)

Now that I've covered those questions. Next point to cover.

My spiritual journey has been a LONG process. When I look back, I am truly astonished by the mountains I've climbed but I would not change anything. I believe God places people and events in our lives to shape us into who we are destined to be as long as we keep our focus on HIM. I'm not saying that bad things will not happen but it is our faith in HIM which pulls us through. A week before my baptism, I unexpectedly lost my uncle but I knew to press into God even though it was more pain than I could ever imagine.

When I truly began searching for God, again, it was right after Easter when I saw people magically being "saved" at church. From that moment, I began to research and pray A LOT. I foolishly came to the conclusion that it was tied to my Black Knight.

For some reason I felt as if God wanted to use me to show him something. In my bones, I know he is destined for greatness, but courage and strength are things he lack. I had hoped that my journey and my bravery would inspire a change.

Alas, I guess I'm just a silly girl who loved someone too much for her own good. Then I just walked away. I hope I did not fail God but I guess I'll never truly know if we were tied together. And that's okay. (Note: I use the Black Knight because of a story I wrote almost a year ago to express what I was going through at the time. He goes by many names ie: Professor Dumbledore and Puppet Master but NEVER Time Lord. Lol. The Black Knight was chosen because of chess. I felt the last year was a game between two proud unyielding individuals.)

So, I am closing this series of blogs off in a week. The phase of my spiritual journey has been amazing but I feel there is a new season in my journey in the near future so I must tie this one off and give myself time to experience life. I'll be back soon...don't know when.

Thank you for reading. I know religion is a tough topic to read about. Perhaps, God will inspire me to go on a more light hearted route when I make my return.

A Bientot!
Linda





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Interfaith Relationships

Image
I'm going to start off by saying that I'm definitely going to ruffle some feathers with these next few entries. But this faux pas of a subject has to be talked about. It's unavoidable with this ever changing global community we find ourselves in. So hang on tight. It's going to be rough! Interfaith relationships. What is it? Conceptually, interfaith relationship is a simple idea where two people of different religious background date/ marry one another. Love is love, right? That supersedes all else? These two questions will be the focus of my discussion (entries) as we move forward. Personal: I thought that once I decided to start dating, again, the challenge would be simple. I would find someone who was a non-practicing Christian and have to debate the relevance of God in our everyday life. Well, it wasn't. My first dating experience after a year break was with someone of Islamic Faith. Yippy, right?!?!? Y'all are probably as excited as I w...
Read more

Call it Magic Part 1: Love is...

Image
So as I stated before, we are going to let me run with the idea of magic AKA God's love and miracles. Where better to start than with love? The Bible has many passages about love. Love is broken into four different types: Eros , Storge , Philia , and Agape . Eros : The intimate type of love aka the romantic love. The best example of this is found in the Old Testament, Song of Solomon or Song of Songs. I've read excerpt of this book here and there, it is beautifully written. I will admit that there are part where the words come alive and makes me blush. For those not familiar with this book; the passage that I like the most and is often used at weddings is Song of Solomon 2: 10-13. Which reads: "My lover spoke and said to me, 'Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and some with me. See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone. Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in out land." ...
Read more

The Journey Continues...

Image
Hello Everyone, I've been absent on the blogging for the past week, but it wasn't due to the lack of thoughts running through my mind. Actually, my mind is more on fire than ever. It had to do with not knowing where or how to proceed with each train of thought. Because I am truly at a crossroads. Do I continue my journey through the Coptic Church or run back to my Evangelist background with the knowledge I've gained within the last few months? When I began my journey in the Coptic Church I knew there would be eyes on me and judgements passed and somehow I got it into my head that they would continue to look at me like an outsider. But as someone told me recently, 'people grow.' We all grow to familiarize ourselves with our surroundings and when that moments happens the walls fall down and God enters this realm. At this point, I have been attending St. Paul for a month and have slowly become more comfortable in my surroundings. Up until today, I've com...
Read more