Singlehood



First, I want to state that its been a very long time since I've written a post. It's not due to the lack of thoughts and emptiness in my spiritual growth; it has been simply due to the fact that 24 hours really is not enough time. Not only do I juggle driving from office to office as a sonographer; I do the same as a piano teacher. Life is never ceasing. But don't get me wrong; I'm not complaining. I love it all.

Moving forward. The topic I wanted to talk about is Singlehood or simply what it is as a single woman/ and or person in the church. (These are my own experiences. Please do not throw it out of proportion.)

Its many things. But most of all, it is tough. I find myself trying to almost explain myself to questions and statements such as:

 "Why are you single?" - It is not by choice. I just haven't found someone who wants to be with me.

 "You seem soo put together. Why are you not in a relationship?" - I'm sorry to say this but relationship are not a reward for a well lived life. There are just a part of living.

 "I can set you up with my cousin. He's single and is Coptic." - As much as I do find myself wanting to marry someone Coptic. Just because two people are single DOES NOT mean they are compatible.

 "It must be nice being single and have all this free time to do all those activities that you do." - Overall, the allure is nice. I really don't have someone to answer to, but it gets lonely. I yearn for a family and kids. It is not to say that I am half a person without one. It is just a different state of wholeness.

 "You're too picky. You can be in a relationship. You just choose not to." - Ummm...DUH! I would be picky. Why would you potentially choose to spend the rest of your life with someone you could not tolerate or were attracted to?!?!?! And yes, I admit that I'm picky. I want someone who knows when to use "your" and "you're." Someone who is educated and has a nice smile. I did not know intelligence was such a high bar to accomplish in this world. 

 "When you least expect it." - This statement is always said with a sympathetic tone. I'm single. I don't have the bubonic plague. And of course it will be when I least expect it. No one sits down and plans out external factors in their lives. 

Now that I got the FAQ out of the way; let's move forward to the nitty gritty. What does the Bible say about being single and waiting for God's timing?

Paul wrote a majority of the New Testament. It can be conveyed that he placed a hierarchy on being single. Basically, he states that the absence of worldly relationships helps us to focus on God. My argument would be, if we were all single there would no longer be people on the earth. SO let's not really explore those passages because I don't want to remain single forever.

As a Christian, the one thing that has held my sanity together has been the fundamental idea of God's Timing being perfect. Never, too, early. Or, too, late. HIS timing and will for the moments of our lives help us to truly experience his love and grace. I feel that soo many of us, single or not, are always eager to push forward instead just taking life for what it is at the moment. Sweetness and bitterness. They are all important into shaping us as His children.

So I sit and I wait. "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope" (Psalm 13:5) I'm not always patient and there are moments when tears roll down my face because I do feel this emptiness while all my friends flourish in their relationships, marriages, and family. I sit and wait.

While many would lose faith that God truly has a plan. I am reminded of this passage:

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away,
 our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary 
affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 
 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen.
 For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 
In short, I am VERY aware that I am single. But I'm not dead and I know that if God really does have someone planned for me then when the time comes I'll be ready. Until then, I will try my best to show Christ through my actions and how I treat others. 

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