Letters from the White Queen

How does one find the words for empty? I feel empty of emotions and feelings. As though all my struggles in relationships are for not. There are three who pull my heartstrings. 1) My Kryptonite: We are fire and fire when we are together. There is no way we could ever be together because we butt heads in the worst ways. However, there is a mental stimulation that exists nowhere else. I love him but he can't possibly be the one I meant to have ever after with. He knows me too well which can't be a good thing in the long run. 2) The Coward: Though he preaches that his ex whom he dated off and on for 8 years is the sole person who can understand him; I think he is very wrong. In fact, I think he is a coward and would rather stick to a known mediocrity connection because he always knows how she will hurt him. The truth is; someone like me is rather formidable. Yet, I love and care for him because I see a world of endless possibilities. Also, he just might be the closest thing I...

Open Letter to my Blog: When I wrote my last entry those many months ago, I had hoped that I was entering moments of pure bliss. Unfortunately, that was not the case. 5/6 months went and gone in a flash and what I gained was utter confusion. I fell in love with a guy who was never emotionally available to me because he was/ is still in love with his ex. In fact, as I'm writing this, I'm pretty sure he is with her. It would be easy for me to play the victim in all of this but I am not innocent. There were flags everywhere and I chose to turn a blind eye on these moments and went with what felt good instead of facing the reality that I would always pale in comparison to this girl. And he did his part by not healing completely and involving another heart into the confusion. Despite who is at fault, I am the one left with a broken heart. I lost count how many times I've cried over the course of the 6 months. To the outside point of view, it seems like a simple solutio...