Letters from the White Queen

First, I want to state that its been a very long time since I've written a post. It's not due to the lack of thoughts and emptiness in my spiritual growth; it has been simply due to the fact that 24 hours really is not enough time. Not only do I juggle driving from office to office as a sonographer; I do the same as a piano teacher. Life is never ceasing. But don't get me wrong; I'm not complaining. I love it all. Moving forward. The topic I wanted to talk about is Singlehood or simply what it is as a single woman/ and or person in the church. (These are my own experiences. Please do not throw it out of proportion.) Its many things. But most of all, it is tough. I find myself trying to almost explain myself to questions and statements such as: "Why are you single?" - It is not by choice. I just haven't found someone who wants to be with me. "You seem soo put together. Why are you not in a relationship?" - I'm sorry to say this b...

To my first born, I’ve written hundreds of letters but I have yet to write you one. It’s not that I have forgotten you or that you never cross my mind. Sweetheart, you’re always on my mind. I just don’t know where to start or even what to say other than “I’m sorry.” I’m sorry that I was young and foolish. I never knew you were growing inside of me. All I felt in that moment was utter pain and betrayal. Instead of protecting you and nurturing you, I washed my tears away with alcohol and cigarettes. And when you finally came and left; I was speechless. I didn’t know what to do but to flush the memories away. I wish I could say that my life changed for the better from that moment on, but it was only the beginning before the fall. The years and events to follow would shape me to the person I am today. Today, you would almost be 5 years old and about to start kindergarten in the Fall. So, I sit here and wonder what you would be like. Would you have my almond eyes that...